BEGIN Motherhood | Corina's Corner

Motherhood

2.12.2015


This Motherhood thing is hard for me. I love it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not hard. There are those days, where I just think, this is what I always wanted to be? A mom? Why? Were all of the women I know lying to me all these years, just acting like they liked being moms? And all of those quotes I always hear about how divine motherhood is and how it's the most essential and eternal role? Blah blah, those quotes are fake too, aren’t they? Some days, I feel like I have a job that I don’t enjoy and where I don’t find success, which is SO hard.

I’ve been going through this internal struggle about motherhood, trying to find ways to have more “Motherhood Successes.” You know, finding joy in the everyday sorts of things.

I follow a great Instagram account called @Mormonfaces. It is uplifting and positive. The other day there was a post about a mom who said that her favorite part about motherhood was the “tiny glimmers of Heaven that it brings,” but she continued to say that, “98% of motherhood is hard work and 2% glimpses of what Heaven might be like.” And I was like YES! This. This is how I feel. She also said that both her greatest challenge and greatest blessing is being a mom. And I could totally relate 1,000,000%. It’s crazy statistic, but seriously, 2% total happiness, and 98% hard. Sometimes the percentages are skewed the other direction. Those totally awesome days, where your child is a complete gem the entire day, so sweet, and kind. Naps for a great amount of time, plays nicely, etc. But generally (and lately) I have been feeling more of the 98/2.

I’ve been thinking about that saying that goes something like “the days are long, but the weeks/years are short.” I think that should really go something like “the days are hard but the years are sweet”. And even though I only have a year and a half of motherhood under my belt, this is the conclusion I have drawn so far. I love being Reagan’s mom. I love watching her grow and learn new things, and I love when she just comes up to me to give me a hug or a kiss, or to sing a song. But those things alone don’t make her tantrums at the library story time or at the store any easier. I’m still working on trying to give those positive “Motherhood Successes” a higher weight mentally than those “Motherhood Frustrations.” (Any tips?)

But I do love laying in bed at night, when Reagan is sound asleep, talking to Jordan about how wonderful our daughter is, and how beautiful and perfect she is and how much her little Spirit adds to our home and family. Talking about how excited we are to have another perfect little baby daughter in our family. This is a time of reflection for me, where I can identify more of those “Motherhood Successes,” and think about the good parts of my day, and the good parts of Motherhood.

Anyway, I’m not sure where this leaves me, but I just wanted to share a few of my current thoughts on Motherhood, with the struggles AND triumphs that it brings. I do like it, but. It. Is. Hard.

5 comments:

  1. I love your blog, and I soo had a day like this today. Sometimes when I read your blog I think "She and I should be friends, we live in the same area and have girls the same age". But I totally agree. I'll have to start following that instagram account! My goal every day- is that no matter how hard or cranky she (or I) am, I make her laugh at least once. Sometimes (like the other night it happens right before bed when i'm telling her a bedtime story) and then it all goes away and I can go to sleep feeling accomplished even though I didn't check everything off my list, or she had horrible naps, or didn't eat hardly anything, etc. I always go to bed knowing I made her laugh at least once and thinking/seeing her cute little body lay in bed so peaceful at night helps to reset too :)

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  2. I love that thought - 98% hard, 2% glimpses of heaven.

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  3. Ahh I remember that instagram post too and I love that the 2% isn't just "good", little people really do make life "heavenly" like she says....when they're being sweet ;) You've obviously entered 18 mo+ because I feel as if there is a switch at a year and a half that they start preparing you for age 2, independence starts being in full swing and then...get ready! I totally agree with Emily above - if you have a daily goal of "read books to them every day" or "make her laugh every day" or "give high fives every time she..." then checking that off at the end of the day makes it so much easier on yourself.

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  4. Thank you for posting this Corina! Motherhood takes all we can give, and then a little more! Love you!

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  5. I just wrote a post like this but didn't publish it. I figure I've complained enough lately ;). Being a parent is hard.

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